Dating in the U.S: Do’s and Don’ts


While it is true that one must not depend his happiness on other people, it is also a fact that having someone to share our life with makes us happier and more complete.

In America, at least a third of the population is single and may be looking for partners, so if you happen to be in the U.S as an immigrant, there’s no reason for you to worry that you’ll end up getting old alone. However, there are do’s and don’ts that you must know, especially if you are new to the country and you are not familiar with how people date in the U.S. Read on!

Do’s

  • The first thing you should know before you start dating in USA If you are a foreigner in the country is to know their culture. Different countries might mean different ways of courtship or dating someone.

Who initiates the dates?

Different parts of America have different views on this one. In the Northeast, Northwest, and Southwest, anyone can ask for a date, but in the Midwest and Southeast, it’s usually the guy that initiates.

What to Do on the First Date?

Again, it depends on the region. First date in the Northwest means a quick drink happens while in the Southeast, they either have a lunch, dinner or a coffee date. In the Midwest, it’s either a dinner date or a date over drinks. People in the Southwest have a healthy way of having their first dates, and that’s by working out together. Last but not the least and it’s probably the funniest, well at least for me, in the Northeast, particularly in D.C, first meeting happens in dating apps, so during first dates, what actually happens is the first physical meeting.

So those are just some of the cultures in some parts of America happen during first dates, and there are a lot more to discover, and it’s for you to learn them. 

  • Do pay if you are the one that asks for the date. Whether you are a guy or a girl (cause again, in some parts of the U.S, girls are the ones that ask for it)  as much as possible, you insist to pay for the bills, and if you are the one that is asked for a date and that person pays for the bill, then you insist to pay for coffee, or for a movie date or anything that comes after that first stop of your date. If you have been dating for weeks or months already, bills might be split.
  • Do know that parents involvement is somehow limited. If you are from an asian country, like the Philippines, it will not be something nice because you are used to doing courtship inside your home with the presence of your family members, but Americans, when they reach the age of 18, they are free to decide on their own to the extent that they don’t need the blessings from their parents when it comes to choosing their partners or the person they will marry.  

Don’ts

  • Do not talk about your jobs, especially during your first date. While having a good paying job is an advantage to make a girl say yes or to make a guy be more interested in you, it should not be your main topic. Yes, you can somehow mention it, but don’t dwell on it too much. Let your date fall in love with your character and not just with your cash. 

Do not show off too much or mention about your salary or how high your position is in the company you work for because aside from the fact that you might be taken for granted, it might be a turn off for some because it might imply your hidden boastfulness.

In addition, asking about someone’s job might mean asking about his/her financial capability. 

Talk further about your job when you have been dating for weeks or months and simply talk about how your day goes at the office, and you can share some problems you have with your job.

  • Do not often talk about politics. Trumps winning the presidency election was a big shocker for some but a huge fulfilment for others. This means that politics really divide people, so when dating in the U.S, avoid this kind of topic. 
  • Do not believe the words I love You from your date easily, and do not say this on your first or second date.  It’s a loosely said phrase. Say it if after a few weeks or months of dating, or when you are sure he’s the one. Likewise, believe your partner when he says I love you after a few weeks or month of dating because that’s when he might mean it with all his heart. 

Final Words

With all the do’s the don’ts mentioned above, there’s one important tip that you should know: be true to yourself. Yes, the dating stage involves putting your best foot forward, but what really is the deciding  factor is your being genuine. If you end up a couple because of showing your real self, then good for you, but if it does not bring you up to the next level, then, you are not meant for each other.





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